Jake the fake

[I]

Jake The Fake

I'm Jake the Fake, piddle-iddle-iddle-um
With my middle leg, piddle-iddle-iddle-um
Wherever I go through rain and snow
The people always let me know
There's Jake the Fake, piddle-iddle-iddle-um
With his middle leg, piddle-iddle-iddle

The day that I am born, I have the horn. My father nearly died
He couldn't get my nappies on, no matter how he tried
'Cos I was born with a middle leg, and since that day begun
I had to learn to stand on my own three feet
Believe me that's no fun

[Chorus]

I had a dreadful childhood really, I s'pose I shouldn't moan
Each time they had a three legged race, I won it on me own
And also I got popular, when came the time for cricket
They used to roll my trousers up
And use me for the wicket

[Chorus]

I was a dreadful scholar, I found all the lessons hard
The only thing I knew for sure, was three feet make a yard
To count to ten I used me fingers, if I needed more
By getting my shoes and socks off
I could count to twenty four

I'm Jake the [stops to count]

...to twenty five

I'm Jake the Fake, piddle-iddle-iddle-um
With my middle leg, piddle-iddle-iddle-um
Whatever I did they said was false
They said "quick march" I did the quick waltz
Then they shouted at me "put your best foot forward" - but which foot?
I said "it's very fine for you, you only got a choice of two"
But me, I'm Jake the Fake, piddle-iddle-iddle-um
With the middle leg... piddle-iddle-iddle-um

Written by John Ravenscroft & Paul McCartney
Recorded by Rolf Harris (Asbos AS23)
Produced by Alvin Slapheadwood
Transcribed by OBSERVER STATION